I have been part of many groups of people that were unkind to one or more individuals -- marginalization is extremely common in society and will exist in almost every social group. There will always be an outcast, one who is disliked by all, because, although it sounds cruel, its a way for people to relieve their stress, by laughing at helpless individuals, even if the individual may be an innocent person. The group I was in disliked a person called James (Not Real Name) because he was different, in his way of speech, and as to his way of presenting himself. He would be apologetic and kind to a person for one moment, then start scolding and insulting that person the next moment, even if that person had not done anything wrong. His changes in mood were extreme and unexpected, and gradually, he started to be marginalized, with people laughing at his behavior, or reprimanding him for being a socially inept person. Disliking him for being immature and rather rude, I also joined in at laughing at that person. He had scolded and insulted me without reason several times and of course, I felt angry, as well as a need to defend my pride, thus I joined in the unkindness towards James, which did not seem to affect that person much as he continued his behavior without showing signs of changing. Viewing these events in retrospect however, I realize that instead of making fun of James, what I should have done was to understand James and advise him on how to change for the better instead of just making fun of him. I could have perhaps also persuaded the group I was in to not be so unfair an prejudiced against people who seem different.
People who are different are usually judged as "bad" simply because they do not understand that person. If people started understanding other people and start trying to change and be better, I am sure that less prejudice would exist and the world would be a better place. Unfortunately, this is not how the world works, and people would rather stick to their pre-judgments of people than change their perspectives and thus, admit they are wrong.
Hi Kai En!
ReplyDeleteI've read your whole post but I found the last paragraph more interesting. I feel that the problem with prejudgment is first impression. The moment you see someone do something or say something, from the way he does it, you would get your first impression of that person. Many times, that first impression isn't a good one and this results in prejudice. These kind of situations happen very often in job interviews.
I feel that the way to change that prejudicial judgement of that person is through constant interaction. From interaction you would be able to see the 'inner self' of that person and by seeing that 'inner self', you get rid of that prejudice against him.
Kai En, you have talked about your own experiences of prejudice. However I don't think you have touched on Singapore as a whole. You might want to say a few words about it here =)
Shiyao