Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Describing Setting
The cobalt ocean flowed gently, with its small waves moving over the many ridges and bumps of the ocean with ease. The sun was near its zenith, and the people of the seaside town had already brought their ships back, hiding in the shade of their yellowed and bronzed buildings, which had been exposed to the sea and the sun and the wind for too long, what with the absence of clouds, all but one lone ship that had lingered behind for a moment too long. With most of the ships docked, the flags fluttering lazily in the wind, one could almost think that the calm ocean had lulled them all to sleep.
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Hi Kai En,
ReplyDeletePersonally, I found your setting description very successful as you paid attention to many details scattered all across the picture, even the flags which were almost not visible to the eye. This point, I really admire your work.
You used description of colours as well which I found quite good. You used words like "cobalt", "yellowed" and "bronzed".
However, you only used two out of the five sensory organs in your writing, namely sight and hearing, being the first and last sentence. You might like to add more details which appeals to other senses as well. Perhaps, it would be better.
I hope my comments are helpful in your future writings!
Best Regards,
Nathan :)
Hello Kai En!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nathan, your description is very nice as it is able to portray a scene well. I can visualize what your description is trying to say. Your choice of words when you personify scenes are also very good. For example, "flags fluttering lazily in the wind" is a nice way of personification, bringing out another depth in description. Overall, I think you have done a spectacular job! :D
Regards,
Eliel